HOW TO DEAL WITH REGRET

 How to deal with regret

1. Regret is hard to avoid. It’s a common negative emotional experience – perhaps more so now than ever, given how fast-paced life can be and how many options people have to choose from.
2. Regret can be painful – but it can also present an opportunity. While endlessly repeating ‘what ifs’ is unhelpful, deliberate reflection on regret can help inform your future behaviour.
3. Let yourself feel regret, without avoiding or wallowing in it. When regret surfaces, observe how you feel in the moment, without judgment, and allow yourself to fully experience it.
4. If your behaviour caused harm, try to make amends. Taking steps to apologise and make up for any negative impacts on others is worthwhile, whether you receive forgiveness or not.
5. Learn to forgive yourself. Take a step away from your harsh inner critic and remember that one regretted act or choice needn’t define who you are.
6. Reframe your experience of regret. Consider ways you might be exaggerating the goodness of the path not taken or the inferiority of the path you’re on.
7. Write about and share your regret. You can start by describing the experience of regret for yourself, and then discuss it with someone you trust.
8. Use regret to clarify what you value. The focus of your regret can tell you what matters most to you – and suggest ways to live in accordance with it in the future.

By Victor Kaludzu

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